All of Me... Positives and Negatives.

Tonight was date night, it wasn't a perfect night to say the least but I tried. We still had fun most of the time, we still held hands and put our perfect child to bed. It wasn't the best idea for a date night when I think back upon it, but live and learn right?

I've been spending the last few hours reading about restaurants, and peoples tips on being romantic, and man is every single person different or what? Everything I read is different than the rest. I can admit that I am not the best at being romantic, and now that life's stress is wearing both myself and Jenn down there it is hard to think that things can be better. I want with all of me to make her happy, to provide her with the over-the-top love that she deserves, the love that I have for her but my mind is making it hard to show. I'm tired of stress, I'm tired of worry, I just want to love.

Love is a magical thing, some will say it's a myth, some will say it's a choice, some will say you'll only love once, others love hundreds of times. Love can come in all shapes and forms, as I love Jenn, and I love my daughter. My love for Jenn outweighs and is much different than the love for my daughter. That's not to say that I wouldn't do anything for my daughter to be happy, and I think that is part of my issue when it comes to finding time to love on Jenn... we are always focused on our daughter. Considering her age, she needs a lot of attention, but we still need to focus on each other, put each other on a pedestal, love on each other and make the other feel special.

Seven days, that is what I am going to attempt, for seven days I am going to try my God's honest hardest to put love before worry, love before stress, and work my way out of this funk, out of this depression like state. I know who I am, I know who I have been, I know whom I can be and what I am is not who I am. I am living in a state of fear, a state of stress and worry, a state where every day I am more concerned about what could go wrong, or where the money is going to come from, or if she's going to leave me, if my child is going to keep on being the perfect human being. Some of those fears and stresses are real, many are a figment of my imagination playing tricks on me. What would life look like if I tried my hardest to wake up in the morning and look at the positive? I honestly don't know.

I am going to head to bed, I am going to pray, and I am going to wake up tomorrow morning and try to look on the bright side of everything. Try to start a day and end a day positively, not let the stress of life ruin those areas of life that I have been blessed in. Tomorrow is a new day, I want to be positive, I want to be happy... is it a choice? I am about to find out...